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Finally, He Is Here!

Finally he is here! Relief, overjoyed, excited, nervous, so so many emotions over the last couple of days since his birth, but mainly just so happy! Carter Frank Wilson was born on April 21st, 2011 at 10:47pm. Frank and I went to the hospital Wednesday, April 20th at 9pm to get the induction started. I was having mixed feelings of excitement and also nervous that I was making the wrong decision about being induced. That night the nurse put in a strip of paper next to my cervix to encourage it to dilate. Frank and I barely slept. I brought a book but it was so hard to focus on reading.

At 6am April 21st I was checked and was 2 cm. Finally after 9 LONG months and 1 week, it was happening. They told me they wanted to wait one hour before checking me again. I took a warm relaxing bath in their awesome tubs and tried to mentally prepare for the day.

I was given Pitocin because I still hadn’t started contracting. That drug works fast! I started feeling faint contractions right away. Then they started to really hurt! I guess I would describe them as a balloon of crazy pain inside you that is slowly being blown-up until it is stretched at its max, then starts to deflate. You can’t concentrate on anything but the pain.

From the first moment I learned what an epidural was in early high school, I knew I wanted one. But I also wanted to experience what it felt like to have contractions since I was being induced. I made it 3 and half hours before getting an epidural around 10:30am.  I did try to hold off to let my body dilate, but the hospital people really pressure you to hurry up and get your epidural. The guy came in and said “Try not to move, it’s a big needle.” The epidural was cold going in and I couldn’t stop shaking. Other than the cold, it didn’t hurt that bad.

Ahhh. All the pain was gone. But now I was numb and couldn’t move my legs. It is not a fun feeling for a control freak like me. The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent trying to read a book, trying to watch tv, trying to sleep, and talking to the baby. I was on pins and needles. My mind was racing and I literally couldn’t relax. All 9 nurses that came in and out all told me I needed to get some sleep. Not happening.

Frank and I didn’t say too much to each other. We had said everything already. Our families had arrived in the waiting room and Frank went to update them often. From his position it was probably so boring. I couldn’t bring myself to see anyone other that Frank. Hindsight, I wish I did let them in the room. It would have at least distracted me.

They were checking me every hour but I still hadn’t made any progress and was getting really annoyed by all the things attached to my body. They gave me a catheter because I couldn’t move to go to the bathroom with the epidural, I had an IV giving me fluids, an IV giving me Pitocin, I had the epidural taped to my back and attached to a machine, two fetal monitors wrapped around my stomach, and two hospital bracelets. It was very uncomfortable. I began regretting the induction. He just wasn’t ready to come yet.

They came and checked me and told me I had only moved to 3cms. The doctor was nervous it was taking so long and started using the c-section word. I instantly started crying. I was mad at myself for doing the induction. I felt guilty because I couldn’t just wait a couple more days to meet my baby and to get rid of the pain. One of the nurses actually had the balls to say “A c-section isn’t bad at all. You won’t have to worry about peeing on yourself this way.” My jaw dropped and I asked her to leave. C-sections are for emergency purposes in my mind. It is quicker and easier for the doctors I understand, but I wasn’t worried about their schedule. Side note: I haven’t peed on myself once thank you very much! At this point nothing was going according to my birth plan which was folded up in my bag. It was all voided when I decided to induce. But I wasn’t going to let a  c-section happen.

“Breathe” Frank told me. I tried to relax. He had been so wonderful and patient all day. Frank went to go update our families again and I decided music would relax me. I turned on my Pandora app on my phone and set it to Jack Johnson’s station. I laid my phone on my stomach so the baby could relax too. I would often listen to music at work with my headphones. One ear bud in my ear, and another on my stomach. It had only been about 10 mins when the doctor came in to check me again. I had gone to 5 cm! If it was the music or the heat of the phone I don’t know, but it did the job.

It took almost two hours for me to make it to fully dilated at 10cms. But to me it flew by because I had spent all day waiting around and now it was happening. I continued to listen to music the whole time. Thank you Pandora! After laying around all day, it was weird to see everyone start to rush around me.

Once everything was set up for me to start to push, I started. I know I can do better.” The epidural had stopped the contraction pain, but there is no stopping the pain that comes from delivering a baby. The pressure is indescribable. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours but those hours just flew by in a blur. Frank was by my side the whole time encouraging me

My last push and he was out! I had seen this moment on TV and in movies and read about it my whole pregnancy. Nothing could have prepared me for the moment they placed him on my chest. I didn’t get to see his face because they placed him immediately on my chest laying across. I held him close but I was at an awkward angle in the bed and couldn’t move him around to see him. All these months of wondering what he looked like, but I couldn’t see his face. He had some congestion they said so he was taken away so quickly and put in the warmer where I couldn’t see him. Frank was with him the whole time with the nurse.

My uterus wasn’t clamping down like it should so the doctor started pushing on my stomach really hard. They offered me oxygen which I took-that was a mistake. Everything became a little foggy and I started to panic because my baby still wasn’t crying and I couldn’t see him. Plus the doctor was really hurting me. She started digging her fists into my stomach. The nurse said she would give him a bath and that would get him to cry and would get the congestion out. Frank video taped his first bath for me since I couldn’t move. He started crying, which was a good sign. When they brought him back from the sink I demanded they move him to where I could see him. He was perfect. He was looking all around and I tell myself he was looking for me. 10 fingers, 10 toes, 8lbs 2oz and 20.5 inches long. I can’t believe I did it. They brought him back to me and put him on my chest. I held him for a long time and just stared at him with Frank. That was such a special moment. We realized we hadn’t named him yet. We had been toying around some names but I wanted to wait until we saw him. Carter was at the top of our list. Carter Frank Wilson it was. I loved him so much already. Frank and I were no longer husband and wife, but we were a family. I have never been more happy than I was in that moment with my husband and my son. Carter is the best surprise of my life.

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